A look at my new life in Neiva, Colombia..
Growing up on Bonita Street in Sausalito, California the first sounds I’d hear each morning usually came from the neighborhood crows.
They’d scratch the roof with their feet and bicker with each other in a language I didn’t understand.
An occasional car would drive by.
Sometimes you could hear the murmur of a neighbor hurrying down the street in business attire.
I could usually predict they were going take a ferry or bus to work in San Francisco.
Life in Neiva
I’m now in Neiva, Colombia and the noises outside couldn’t be more different.
There are bunch of tiny birds but I don’t know their names.
At any given moment you can hear a motorcycle (or a mini parade of them), revving their engines before turning the corner.
There’s always an echo of cumbia, salsa, bachata, or musica popular humming from an unseen neighbor’s house.
You can hear the birds between a symphony of hammers and drills because the neighbors are doing construction.
Also, we’re next to a botanical garden.
Instead of crows chatting, I hear a guy by with a cart yelling,
“Aguacates! Aguacates! AGUACATES!” (avocados)
Sometimes a small heard of roaming bulls will eat our trash before the garbage collector passes our street. The other day one large bull nearly trampled over our baby oiti trees. After this happened I finally got the courage to chace them with a stick.
Sometimes a small truck crawls by, honking its horn over and over.
A lady starts to scream, “LECHE!!” (milk)
To someone who’s never been here before, this scene might feel intimidating.
But I’m used to it now. I used to be a gringo scared to cross the street. Now I’m still a gringo but I can cross the street, and pretty soon I’ll learn to drive in Colombia.
The fact I’m used to these sites and sounds feels like a shock.
I feel a mixture of pride and confusion when I remind myself I’m here. This is my eighth time visiting Yesi, her mom Piedad, and everyone in their family.
Like parents like son
Whenever I remember I’m this far away from the US, thoughts of Mom and Dad come to mind.
Deep down, maybe they are the inspiration for me being here.
In 1969, Dad left his home in New Jersey. He packed his car, said goodbye to his Mom, Dad and friends, then ventured 3,000 miles to California. The only contact he had was a name of an acquaintance written on a piece of paper.
That summer, his friends went to Woodstock. Instead, my Dad left everything he knew and set off for a new life in Wild West.
“This is long way from 12th street in Newark, New Jersey.”
He still reminisces to me as he relaxes in his favorite chair.
After all this time, he’s still in disbelief he ended up in California.
Mom was just as brave. She left her home in Missoula, Montana to follow her sisters to California. Within a week of moving, she met my Dad and (as the saying goes) the rest is history.
Generations prior, my great great grandparents left everything they knew in Norway and Italy seeking opportunities in America.
Fast forward to right now, I’m waking up with a Colombian coffee, asking myself a question that feels like deju vu:
“How did I end up in Neiva, Colombia?”
It’s still a surprise that life brought me to Colombia.
Now, when I wake up, I see ring on my wedding finger. Life certainly has taken an unexpected (but amazing) turn.
Yesi and I had our civil wedding almost 6 weeks ago.
After lots of paperwork, I now have a Colombian marriage visa and can live in here.
In two weeks we’ll be married in a church.
So, this visit to Colombia is no longer a visit. I officially live here.
When I say I’m with Yesi’s family, I’m now with my second family.
Piedad is now my mother-in-law (Suegra). I don’t like the word “suegra” so I like to say “Mamá Colombiana” (Colombian mom).
I’m an expat from the US married to a Colombian woman.
I think these words and think, wow, I’m a long way from Bonita Street in Sausalito.
This is the New World I’m living in. It’s a slice of pie with completely new ingredients.
Does it taste different?
Yes.
Does it taste better?
It’s better because I get to share it with Yesi.
Overall, I feel happy to be married.
My friend Rocio said something that hit home: You and your wife will create a new normal together.
This couldn’t be more true.
The life Yesi and I had as a boyfriend and girlfriend has evolved.
We’re now in a new chapter and will build something unique together.
Another important piece of advice I read:
Never stop being boyfriend and girlfriend. In other words, keep doing what made you fall in love. Keep having fun. Be creative, be spontaneous, and never take any hug, kiss, or act of love for granted.
What is married life like?
So far, married life has been a mixture of day-to-day things, planning for our religious ceremony, immigration paperwork, and a few celebrations. For instance, a few weeks ago we celebrated Uncle Omar’s birthday.
Yesi and I try to take advantage of our free time as much as possible. We try to have a date once a week and have quality time.
Neiva surprisingly has a lot of Mexican restaurants. The other day we listened to a Carlos Vives cover band while eating a burrito.
We also met her former English teacher Jeff from Canada who owns an language school in Neiva.
It felt good knowing other North Americans are in Neiva.
When we’re not busy doing wedding planning, Yesi, and I also watch movies with Piedad. We all eat together everyday. I’m spoiled because I live with two excellent cooks.
I try to help with chores (oficio) as much as possible.
A couple weeks ago Yesi’s friend Adriana Bernal invited us to a barbecue with her husband Diego and family. I learned a lot of funny Colombian slang like “tener frenos largos” from her brother Juan David.
We met up with more friends Mario and Karol for sushi.
(There is a lot of sushi in Neiva).
I got a coffee with another friend named Gustavo.
Each day we’re learning to be a husband and wife.
What’s happening next?
We’re now in full wedding part-two mode. We’ve been planning our religious ceremony and reception ever since we got engaged.
Yesi’s family (my new family) has been amazing throughout the wedding planning process. We’ve received lots of love and support from them and friends.
Everyone from cousins, aunts, uncles, and Yesi’s 95-year-old grandma Abiga has been supportive.
Next week my Mom and our friend Jessica from London will be staying with us.
Family and friends are coming from other parts of Colombia and the United States.
It’s going to be an adventure.
To be continued…
A lot of steps are waiting for us. I couldn’t do any of them without Yesi.
In this new life, I’m trying to be a better man and husband. Yesi’s already got the role of amazing wife down.
When people said we’d from a union, it’s true.
Yesi and I formed a team and she’s the best teammate.
This is a day in the life as two Cali-Colombians…
Un abrazo grande mi gente!
-Daniel
There Dan Was 
Leave a reply to Anna Carolina Cancel reply